A Covenant marriage

 "A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection."--Dallin H. Oaks

70% of those that have divorced, feel like they could have saved or stayed in the marriage just 2 years later.

Divorce has become common place.  Marriage has slowly lost it's value.  Once when two people committed themselves to marriage, they made a covenant with each other.  As time has passed, this binding agreement has turned into more of just a breakable contract.  A contract can easily be broken.  It is a easy way out.  Contracts can be broken as soon as one party indicates that it can't,or won't, meet its obligations.  Remember that 70% wish they could go back and mend their marriages.  Don't rush to divorce.  Make your marriage a covenant marriage. 

(Webster's Dictionary- Covenant: A formal or serious agreement or promise)

Dallin H. Oaks said it best, "I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache. A broad-based international study of the levels of happiness before and after “major life events” found that, on average, persons are far more successful in recovering their level of happiness after the death of a spouse than after a divorce. ³ Spouses who hope that divorce will resolve conflicts often find that it aggravates them, since the complexities that follow divorce—especially where there are children—generate new conflicts.

Please remember there will be conflict in all marriages.  As I said in an earlier post, these conflicts are not bad.  They provide opportunities to grow closer as a husband and wife.    

Full talk by Dallin H. Oaks found here: Divorce

Sometimes divorce will still happen and at times it is found to be necessary.  Know that the pain of divorce can be eased through the healing power of the atonement.  Don't loose hope.

Lastly another challenge can arise when the time comes for remarriage.  This can be especially challenging if there are children involved.  A couple of pieces of advice to blended families as they come together given from my professor:

1. The birth parent of the children should do all of the heavy discipline 

                         2. The new step parent should take on the role similar to an "aunt or uncle" until he/she has gained the love and trust from their step children

                      3. Know that it takes most families at least 2 years to adjust and become comfortable with this new life/family.  Give it time and be patient.  

Also my professor recommended two books that would be very helpful for those who are trying to blend a new family together:

      --"Treating The Remarried Family"--Clifford J. Sager

                                    --"Remarried with Children: Ten Secrets for Successfully Blending and Extending Your Family"--Barbara LeBey